Build Me Up by Grouse Lili

Author:Grouse, Lili [Grouse, Lili]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Grouse Hill Publishing
Published: 2015-02-14T08:00:00+00:00

Kristen didn’t leave the house over the next couple of days. She had leftovers to spare and no appetite, so that equation worked out well. She didn’t see Humphrey Bogart anywhere, either, which she only felt relief about. Frank Sinatra and Charlie Chaplin were growing on her though. At least they had the good sense to keep their paws and claws to themselves – or at least away from people.

Kristen was starting to think she might make a good cat lady one day – with sane, housebroken cats, of course – when Mrs. Breezer returned and she realized that status was not something to strive for. After an attempt at polite conversation with the old woman, Kristen retreated to her room and stayed there until it was time to go to work.

She ended up spending the day in paint shops and hardware stores, placing orders for the interior design part of her job, which was expected to kick in around… oh, say, five months from now. Still, it never hurts to be prepared, and the shops had the added bonus of being in a Ford-free zone. Win-win.

When she returned to the Breeze Inn, however, her winning streak was definitely up.

“Miss Barnes, may I have a moment,” Mrs. Breezer said as Kristen walked through the door. It should have been a question, but it didn’t sound like one. Obediently, Kristen walked over to the little sitting room where Mrs. Breezer was seated, Humphrey Bogart in her lap. The one-eyed cat looked up as she entered and she could have sworn he hissed ‘slut’ at her. Or maybe that was Mrs. Breezer…

“Have a seat.” The words were polite, the delivery was not. She was so screwed.

“How are you today, Mrs. Breezer?” Kristen asked politely, pretending she wasn’t facing judgment.

“Today is Monday. I clean the house on Mondays. I thought I was very clear about my rules, Miss Barnes.”

“Which rules were those again?” Kristen feigned ignorance. What you don’t know can’t kill you. Or, as it were, get you evicted.

“There were three of them. Not too many, is it? Even blondes should be able to remember them.”

Kristen felt her jaw go slack. The old bitty didn’t just insult her based on her hair color, did she? She wasn’t even that blonde right now!

“No canoodling, Miss Barnes. Yet when I tidied up your room this morning, I found the bed frame had a crack in it. No wonder poor Humphrey Bogart has been hiding until now – you must have scarred him for life with your shenanigans.”

“Really, Mrs. Breezer, I…”

“I also found prophylactics in the bathroom cabinet, Miss Barnes,” she cut her off. “If you wish to entertain men, you may do so on alternate premises.”

“Mrs. Breezer. Aside from the gross invasion of privacy you just admitted to, I understand your concern for your… animals. Now, if the bed is indeed broken, I work with a number of contractors that I’m sure would be happy to…”

“Oh, I don’t doubt you do, Miss Barnes. I

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